What up, friends! Never thought I would say this, but welcome to my blog. Just like so many other things that happen in life, this was completely unexpected. However, I feel like I have finally stepped into a place in my life where I am comfortable being open and vulnerable in order to be a part of something bigger than myself. 

 

So why now? Welp, on June 1, 2020 I experienced the worst day of my life. 28 years of insecurity, jealousy, vanity, and much more caught up to me and essentially slapped me in the face. Then kicked me. Punched me. Spat on me. And yeah, I think you get the picture. Point of me telling you this...it was rough. So rough that I had no idea what to do. I was riddled with anxiety. I didn’t have any idea of who I was or what I believed, or who I could even turn to for help. I experienced heavy depression. I hardly slept, I hardly ate, I hardly wanted to be alive. In fact, I contemplated suicide. I got into my car, hopped on the freeway, picked my speed up to nearly 100 miles per hour and was dead set on running my car into a concrete divider. Thankfully, I didn’t follow through. The sad part is, I tore myself down even more than I already had for not having the “balls” to do it. This was rock bottom. This is what started my journey to heal the right way.

 

Fast forward over a year now and I am the happiest I have EVER been. I know who I am. I know my worth. I TREASURE my family and friends. I love myself and I don’t feel bad for saying it. I developed a heart for people. I have made a conscious choice to live my life with the focus of loving others well. It truly is my top priority every day to Love the Lord with all my heart, might, mind, and strength; and to love my neighbor as I would myself. I have found true peace in recognizing this to be my calling. This mission gives me purpose and I am proud of myself for pursuing it.

 

In my journey of healing, I discovered a love for writing. I wrote pages and pages of google docs that went over my life experiences, lessons learned, and perspectives gained. I thought I wanted to write a book, but the task was daunting. I decided I wanted to write a blog, but I battled the insecurity of thinking nobody would even care. However, God showed His timing perfectly with this inner dilemma just as He always does. A couple weeks ago, someone asked me “So Caelan, what evidence do you see of God using your life for good???”. I was a little caught off guard by the question, but the speed at which I answered surprised me. GOD MADE ME RELATABLE. The words almost fell right out of my mouth. I thought back on my life and reflected on how crazy it had all been. However, this reflection humbled me. I realized that EVERYONE has experienced craziness in their life. We live in an absolutely crazy world.This was my lightbulb moment. This is when I realized that the purpose of this blog isn’t to share my story, but it is to create connection. I want this blog to serve as a place for people to find/experience love and acceptance. We tend to forget, but as human beings we are all on the same team. So this crazy idea that I had to share my experiences is actually just an effort to help someone feel not so alone in this crazy world. I don’t care if it helps just one person or one hundred, I have a vision for this to be a place where people can be seen and heard. I am willing to go 90 if you can go 10. I want to be an open book, because whether the experience relates identically or not, I truly believe God has blessed me with a crazy life that makes me relatable to a wide range of people. 

 

So I promise to be honest and forthcoming in order to encourage you to do the same. Whether you are struggling in life or not, we always have opportunities to grow and connect in order to make the world a better place. Sounds corny, but we have seen enough hate in the past year to make a push in this direction don’t ya think? So yeah, I have had some unique experiences. My dad and I had a broken relationship due to drug addiction, I gave all religions a fair shot and went on a Mormon mission, I played professional basketball after not being good enough to play minutes for my high school team, my first love won the tv show The Bachelor, I became a world traveler, got commercials and billboards, experienced times with lots of money and no money, and I hurt someone I truly loved and got to experience the guilt and shame that came with it. All of which I am ready and willing to share about...along with other experiences that have helped me find peace in this crazy, yet beautiful life. So thanks for being here, and thank you even if you decide not to stay. I am excited to see what God has in store and I am excited to create connections with you all!